Confuse

I admit that today i do not understand what i feel, lol i know i should be always happy, not only that it can make us feel better, feel peaceful and in a sense that it can help us in terms of our health aspect that being happy have a lot of advantages and i think people know about it already but why sometimes it will come to a point in our life that we feel sad. I am confuse, sad and depress ha funny to say and i have to admit that i do not want to feel sad, most people think that i am always happy but deep inside im hurt. I try to laugh but deep inside my heart is bleeding. Oh lately i do not know why i suddenly feel or think maybe my bf doesn't love me anymore or something change. I just do not know i know i should not feel this way, or maybe my intuition. I told him to tell me straightforward if he do not love me anymore or something change. It is just that lately or the last email i receive from him or maybe before the last email from him, i think something change. Or maybe i think negative for the last two days, grrrrrrrr...i shouldn't feel this way. And also i feel how hard it is to be far from the one you love. Anyway i pray to God that hope that he can resist temptations. I do not know what to say now. I am just so confuse in every aspect of my life.

I still love him and always miss him. Everyday i miss him and i need his loving hands to come and pick me up when im down. I need his hug and kisses. I just miss him so much.

MY BOOKS

These are some of my Books that i read but i have many books and magazines that i haven't include it here yet so i will post it next time, when i have time to do so. Well it helps me to become a better and confident person in my life. GOD thank you so much for this book because it helps me to have wisdom.

Happy 6th Monthsary Baby Nate

Me and my bf six monthsary today Jan. 4, 2009 since we've been together for six months but i think more or less we also become friends for six months before we became more than friends. I already express all i want to tell him through my mail for him today. When i remember the past, i can't believe that we become lovers since we are only friends and i do not know how it started though we tried to remember but all i could think is the moment when Nate wants to level up our relationship not as friends but more than friends. The exact word he said is this " why not give it a try" or pls kindly let's give ourselves as lovers not as friends lol. Well, I think its GOD's plan or purpose because we never expect that we will be together for six months. And i know we love each other. We are not perfect gf/bf for each other but we see each other as perfect match for each other. We compliment each other for example, when he told me i am so beautiful, lol, i also told him well you are the most handsome guy for me. We fill up the weaknesses of each other like for example, he don't know how to sing and dance well i'll teach him until he can sing and dance and he will also teach me shooting, playing airsoft. All we do for each other is accept each other strength and weaknesses although we are not a perfect person as we are all not perfect but we just complete each other weaknesses and encourage each other.

Oh and its his first time that he beat me, he is the first one to greet me happy monthsary but i am flattered and happy that he never forget our day. I thank GOD for everything and i pray for our relationship and that hope its his will that we will be together forever until we grow old as i love him so much as he loves me so much too...I have nothing to ask God because he already give to me, Nate to complete my life. God is so good in my life and i am so glad that he loves me so much that he give me the right man for me.