Confuse

I admit that today i do not understand what i feel, lol i know i should be always happy, not only that it can make us feel better, feel peaceful and in a sense that it can help us in terms of our health aspect that being happy have a lot of advantages and i think people know about it already but why sometimes it will come to a point in our life that we feel sad. I am confuse, sad and depress ha funny to say and i have to admit that i do not want to feel sad, most people think that i am always happy but deep inside im hurt. I try to laugh but deep inside my heart is bleeding. Oh lately i do not know why i suddenly feel or think maybe my bf doesn't love me anymore or something change. I just do not know i know i should not feel this way, or maybe my intuition. I told him to tell me straightforward if he do not love me anymore or something change. It is just that lately or the last email i receive from him or maybe before the last email from him, i think something change. Or maybe i think negative for the last two days, grrrrrrrr...i shouldn't feel this way. And also i feel how hard it is to be far from the one you love. Anyway i pray to God that hope that he can resist temptations. I do not know what to say now. I am just so confuse in every aspect of my life.

I still love him and always miss him. Everyday i miss him and i need his loving hands to come and pick me up when im down. I need his hug and kisses. I just miss him so much.